Interactions between Brain/Body Natures
Any group of children will include a variety of different brain/body natures. These mixes lead to dynamic interactions and often work well, with everyone’s natural tendencies being balanced in the group. But they can also be tricky, so you need to simply be aware of each of the different brain/body natures.
Vata Child with Pitta Child
As long as both are in good balance, the Vata-Pitta combination works well. When they are young, they will tend to both mind their own business and have a jolly time. A slightly older Vata child will be full of ideas and suggest new things to do every other minute. The Pitta child loves the challenge of taking one idea to completion—and then, and only then, consider what to do next.
When they’re both out of balance, however, the Pitta child can grow impatient and irritable, while the Vata child can be overly sensitive and demanding. Be prepared to intervene frequently to make sure that the Pitta child does not overpower the Vata child, and that the emotional Vata child does not drive the Pitta child mad. Vata is represented by wind and Pitta is represented by fire. Too much wind causes a fire to flare up, and when the flames become too high, everyone gets burned.
If your Vata toddler is playing with an older Pitta brother or sister who goes out of balance, a potentially explosive situation may develop, which could, at the very least, hurt the feelings of the Vata child. Both the age and the physical strength of the older child can easily overwhelm the sensitive Vata, so you have to create and enforce clear rules to protect the more delicate toddler.
During the teen or young adult years, when relationships between boys and girls begin to become serious, this combination can turn into an archetypical pairing of a strong Pitta male with a delicate Vata female—think prom king and queen. The Vata’s creativity brings up new areas for the Pitta to master. Out of balance, however, this is a combination that can spell trouble, with the sensitive Vata’s feelings being hurt and the Pitta becoming irritable or angry, and self-righteous.
Vata Child with Kapha Child
The good-natured Kapha child can easily put up with the quickly moving, whimsical Vata. If the Kapha child is out of balance, however, he may be possessive or become upset by the quickly changing nature of the Vata sibling or friend. An imbalanced Vata child will naturally become impatient and unhappy because he will not understand the slow steadiness of the Kapha. If the s-l-o-w Kapha and the quick Vata can’t be reconciled, the best solution may be to give each his own space.
A Vata toddler playing with an older Kapha brother or sister should be a good combination if the older child is protective and kind to the little Vata sibling. But if the older Kapha child happens to be out of balance, he may be less accepting, and you will need to be alert and intervene before the situation sours.
In the teen or young adult years this combination can be a complementary blend of opposites. To return to our archetype, it’s not unusual to see a small young Vata woman walking arm and arm with a larger Kapha young man. The calm and steadiness of the Kapha male is a steadying anchor and a safe emotional haven for the Vata woman.
Pitta Child with Kapha Child
A balanced Kapha child can usually put up with an energetic Pitta child. The Kapha child actually enjoys being “nudged” by a Pitta friend to get going, feeling it as a tickle, rather than a poke. The Kapha child is happier once engaged and moving, so the Pitta energy and drive may be just what’s needed. But beware: If either of them is out of balance, everything can blow up. The Pitta child may overwhelm the Kapha child with fiery badgering, and the Kapha child may withdraw and completely freeze up.
A Pitta toddler playing with an older Kapha brother or sister is one of the best combinations. Even when the Pitta toddler is out of balance and a bit irritable, the situation can still be fairly comfortable because the Kapha’s stability can absorb the Pitta’s negativity and sweeten it. An imbalanced older Pitta, however, is unlikely to be able to be patient with a slower and less energetic Kapha toddler. On the other hand, the sweetness of the Kapha child’s may charm the older Pitta’s sourness and the situation could resolve itself. The best solution might be to give each child own space until both are balanced.
When this combination reaches the teen or college years, the pairing of Pitta and Kapha work well as a team, one providing dynamic energy while the other contributes steady power.
excerpt from Dharma Parenting